We persuaded her to take a “good, long nap” in order to allow her to get “a really big surprise.” It worked. She slept for two and a half hours last Friday.

Our vagueness of the surprise was for good reason; one small monsoon could of ruined all of our plans. Then we would have to quickly think up something else fun to do. But the weather was on our side. The rainstorm came early and at 6:00 pm it was cool, yet sunny and nearly cloudless.

Every Friday in the summer, the city business owners of downtown Flagstaff put on live music and an outdoor movie (weather permitting of course).

We arrived and set-up our chairs and Emma’s Winnie the Pooh sleeping bag. We then listened to an angry man singing “children’s songs” which showcased tainted near-sighted perspectives of recent U.S. history and historical figures. The kids danced and played to his strumming guitar, while I sat and wretched at the lyrics. Next was a pizza and the sunset.

On Emma’s and my return from the restroom, we approached the area where the movie screen had been lowered and was presenting the opening song and title to “Beauty and the Beast.”

“Booty anda Beet, Daddy! Booty anda Beet!” the girl on my shoulder’s screamed like a teenage girl in a flashback of the Ed Sullivan Show.

We got some drinks and popcorn and settled back into our squatted area.

The “surprise” came off without a hitch and our little girl was ecstatic. With her greasy popcorn bag gripped firmly, she glowed like a prom queen. She bubbled with bottom tapping sit-dancing and would occasionally and graciously turn to us and beam her smile. And at least a couple of times I felt her warm, soft hand gently caress my leg in loving appreciation.

My thoughts wandered from the film, to my love for my child, to my upcoming baby and then to my brother. My brother, who most likely will never experience this exciting joy and pleasure. As the crowd sniffled and cried over Belle and the Beast’s spoken love, I wept comfortably in the dark for my brother.

Leaving the community event, I was filled with overpowering emotions. They were the same flooding emotions I felt the minutes after I discovered that we had a healthy baby girl; filled to the rim with love and affection for life. Only this time, on this night there was a distinct aftertaste of bitterness.