Dick Butkus

The ritual of the growing two-year old fascinates the onlooker. For a number of reasons, I watch Ellie as if she is a wild specimen, like Jane Goodall observed gorillas. How she develops around this bunch of monkeys is pretty hilarious.

Ellie is amazed by the male anatomy; more specifically, mine. Emma was at this age too, and both Abbie and I are not prudish about out naked bodies around our girls. When we bathe or change clothes, we do not shun their eyes.

Ellie will run into the bathroom after I step out of the shower and nearly jab her finger through my groin asking, "S-that, Daddy?".

To which I always reply, "That's my penis."

"OOOH." she says, as she turns and runs back out of the bathroom. That is all she wanted to know.

This morning, Abbie asks me, "Do you know why Ellie keeps calling her privates 'peanut'?"

"Wha?" I stood in disbelief.

"For the past couple of days she has been grabbing herself and calling it her 'peanut,' and I don't know anyone who says or does that. Maybe at the babysitters?" Abbie explained.

"She isn't saying 'peanut' Ab, she's calling it her 'penis.'" I informed my wife.

"OOOH." Abbie replicated the amazing knowledge, just like Ellie in the bathroom.

We'll have to start working on that one, maybe after this one:

Today marked about the twentieth time that Ellie has said "Goodbye" to me, given me a Hollywood fake cheek kiss, a hug, and then made me turn around so she can kiss me right in the crack of my buttocks. She bounces her forehead right in between the rear pockets of my pants, giggling all the way in and out of it.

Because of the uncomfortable situation of having my two-year old kissing my ass, albeit funny as hell, I have, at times, not allowed her to do it. She she gets uncontrollably angry and breaks out in blotches from the fit she performs.

For the sake of her complexion, I now let her proceed with her special goodbyes.

I am a great Dad.